


Like Riding a Bicycle

by SandrC



Series: Not Another Fanfiction Collection [21]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Beverly beats Cyril Coldain upside the head for smack talking Erlin, F/F, F/M, Gen, Past Homelessness, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use, Trans Female Jaina, Trans Male Hardwon, a bad description of the child care services, and you say you're gonna talk out your issues, because Wilhelm Bronzebeard is a shit, dancing around slurs, look sometimes you smoke weed with your ex's sister because she Gets You, mentions of ahaego sweatshirts, what even is the Bronzebeard family business, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: Hardwon doesn't talk much about his past. It's no one's business but his own.Still, some habits are hard to forget. A bit like riding a bicycle, really, you just know how, even after forever.(Or: Hardwon tries to hide from ghosts and then says a lot without saying anything at all.)
Relationships: Gemma Bronzebeard & Jaina Bronzebeard, Gemma Bronzebeard/Hardwon Surefoot, Jaina Bronzebeard/Toma, Moonshine Cybin & Hardwon Surefoot & Beverly Toegold V
Series: Not Another Fanfiction Collection [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1312925
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Like Riding a Bicycle

**Author's Note:**

> HEY HI HELLO! Guess whomst is BIG HYPE about this last episode (87)?! IT CHABOI!
> 
> I've been working on this chapter/short/part of Payable on Death for a LONG time, long enough that now this Human High School AU has a fucking NAME y'all! But after a lot of aggressive relistening, coming back through Frostwind, REDISCOVERING MY LOVE FOR JAINA BRONZEBEARD, I have finished it. Bless up.
> 
> A lot of this fic was me staring at my phone going "I want to say the thing but also I want to stay true to the fact that Hardwon would Not Say The Thing" followed by a screaming round of "don't say that he was misgendered and called slurs but he was misgendered and called a lot of slurs, fight that desire to make things explicit" with an interlude of "oh and also, how vague can I make the fact that Jaina is trans and the reason Gemma has a beard is in solidarity for her sister, as she weaponized her clout to make people back the fuck off of Jaina, which makes what happened to Hardwon worse". Also "oh god, have I spelled Cyril's name right? I hate this bitch but DID I SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT?"
> 
> Uh, I love Jaina? I love Jaina. I also love Hardwon. I love Hardwon so much. My tall dwarf.
> 
> If anything gets too confusing, ask and I'll answer.
> 
> Warning: drug use (weed but, yanno), past emotional abuse, past suicidal desires, veiled transphobia, mentions of past homelessness, a bad representation of the foster care and adoption system, mentions of "don't ask, don't tell" (fuck that), mentions of ahaego sweatshirts, and WIlhelm Bronzebeard (because also fuck him)

Hardwon took a long drag and exhaled, the tension in his chest pressing down hard enough to crush his ribs. A cloud of smoke circled his head and dispersed in the air around him. The world softened a bit. Not much, but the edge was gone. It was cold as hell and he was having a hard go of it.

_Fuck._

I mean, it's not like he fucking _planned_ on having a bad time here. It's a fucking peewee baseball game for christssake; he should be stoked to see a bunch of little kids bean each other upside the head with a hard ball. _Especially_ rich little shits like the ones that went to Bev's school. It's just...

Did the school Galaderon Prep was facing _have_ to be fucking _Frostwind_ though? I mean, what even were the fucking odds?

Good enough that Hardwon was now behind the concession stand, near the bathroom, smoking up to avoid accidentally running into them. Good enough that he had to apologize to Moonshine, snag her jacket to buffer his decision to wear a crop top jersey against the biting cold of spring, and then dart off to light up to keep from letting her see him feel _one whole emotion_. Good enough that he was counting his breaths as he listened to the sound of a metal bat making sharp contact with a hard ball, followed by the roar of an excited crowd of parents and drunk older siblings and uncles.

Good enough that the heavy thudding footfalls of someone approaching didn't register until it was too late.

Rounding the corner was one of three people Hardwon was trying to avoid. Six foot three, broad as a body builder, stubbly, and ginger. Wearing a deep arm tank that you could see her sports bra through and heavy, worn work boots paired with tall woolen socks, was Jaina Bronzebeard. She grinned like she had all those years ago when she caught him and Gemma making out, all teeth and sparkling amusement.

" _Holy **fucking** shit._ Hardwon Surefoot, I was told you _died_!"

He stiffened and grinned, smoke leaking from his clenched teeth like some kind of perverse dragon. "Who said that? _Rust?_ You should know better, Jaina."

"You know what?" Jaina said, pensive, then amused, hands held up in placating, "that's fair. Shame on me." She leaned against the wall next to him and crossed her arms against her chest. _Fuck_ , she was still ripped. _Goddamn_. Hardwon was a bit jealous—not that he'd let her know that. After a chunk of heady silence, she nodded at him again and gestured with a hand to all of him. "So what _have_ you been up to, since you fucked off and supposedly died?"

"How's _Gemma_?" He shot back, harder than he should have but, _fuck_. You don't just _ask_ questions like that to a guy like him. _Especially_ if you're a _Bronzebeard_.

Jaina's face fell flat, cordiality slipping away like water off a duck's back. " _Mmm_ ," she said. "Pass and I'll answer."

"The usual?" This was an old game of theirs. Talking but _not_. Honesty and drugs. The only time they ever opened up, even a tiny bit.

He hadn't done this since he'd seen her last, and even _that_ was _years_ ago. There was a harsh nostalgia that scraped at his insides that accompanied this ritual. He wanted it and _didn_ 't want it all at once, which was the way it had always been.

"One for one. If you've got it, you answer." Curt and to the point. Bless Jaina Bronzebeard, one of two Bronzebeards he didn't hate and that didn't hate him in kind.

"Cool. So fucking ask, before I change my mind." He took a drag and held, waiting.

"What happened?" She sounded sincere. That was shocking. He coughed a bit, catching on his surprise.

"That's a... _loaded_ question?"

"Okay, lemme try again: you kicked Rust's teeth in, and then he said he you got shivved in jail and you disappeared. What _actually_ went down?" She made heavy eye contact with him. For all that Jaina and Gemma were different, their eyes were the same. The same brilliant green that contrasted with their copper curls.

They always managed to drag the truth out of him if he looked at them for too long.

He took a deep breath, held, then exhaled. Even without smoke in his lungs, the cold made his breath fog upwards. _Fuck_.

" _Fuck_. Okay so, fucking _Rust_ , right? You know what that was like?" Jaina nods, silent. They didn't need to rehash that bullshit, _thank God._ "Well he mouths off about Wilhelm threatening to get me knocked out of the system for fucking, _I dunno_ , drugs or some fake bullshit. Something about talking to the foster folks I was with and threatening and-or bribing them to punt me back to a goddamn house. Throwing his weight around, like usual, big fucking mouth and all, but then he brings fucking Gemma into it?"

Jaina hissed and clenched her fists but didn't interrupt. She knew better.

"I saw red and like, fucking, _took_ him _out_ and, like, then it was done? I get arrested, kicked out of the family I was in for felony shit, and at that point I'm so close to being able to just fucking emancipate myself so I figure I'm just fine. _I'm fine_. It worked out. Did some legal bullshit and I've got a place here. I'm _good_ now." He doesn't elaborate. He wants her to waste a question on it. He can only be _so_ honest at any one time.

It takes a long time before Jaina responds, holding her hand out for the joint. Hardwon handed it over, refusing eye contact. " _Fuck._ "

" _Yeah_." She took a drag and nodded at Hardwon, who started and glanced between the joint and her expectant face. " _Oh_ , yeah. Thanks for the reminder. How _is_ she?"

Jaina smiled around the smoke in her mouth and laughed, far smoother than Hardwon had. " _Shit_ , kid, all the questions in the world and you ask about _her_?" He leveled his gaze at her and she shrugged, grinning around the joint between her teeth. "Alright, _fine_. Yeah. That's fair. It's been a couple years anyway."

" _Yeah_ , fuck you too." He laughed, gruff, but less harsh than it could have been.

"So you left. It's been a long time since I saw her that fucking down, right? Last time she looked like this is like, _I don't know_ , before she started fucking sucking your face? And it gets hard coz dad fucking starts coming down hard on her hooking up with someone 'more influential and better off than that fucking kid'. Except, yanno, more classic Wilhelm-isms I'm _not_ repeating." She hissed, grimacing, and Hardwon felt a bit of sympathy. He could only imagine the kind of slurs slipping from Wilhelm's mouth and he didn't _live_ with the guy. "But she manages to talk to Gerrard and they work out a thing. He acts as her cover, she acts as his beard, and they're plus one _forever_. Both Cyrus and Wilhelm back off, they can do as they please with the cover of each other, and it's _good_. Not _as_ good as it was, but she doesn't want to die any more."

The frank nature of her admission shocks air into his lungs. " _Excuse me?!_ "

" _One at a time_ , Surefoot," Jaina gave him a wry smile and the joint and _damn her_ , she's playing the _same_ game he is. _Fair_. They know each other well enough to manipulate this ritual to their whims. He can't fault her for that. "Now, _my_ turn, I believe? I wanna know what's got you tethered here. Or, _more_ specifically, so you can't weasel out of it," and, _dammit_ , she's smirking again coz she's got him, "you said you got kicked out but figured it out. How'd _that_ go?"

 _Fuck_. "You know, you'd make a _great_ lawyer." He inhaled, held, and exhaled. "Plus the tuition costs would suck Wilhelm dry and that's a plus."

Jaina howled in laughter, head thrown back. Behind her raucous laughter was the sound of a metal bat hitting a hard ball and the cheering of half a crowd. "Dude, if I wanted to be a silvertongue, I'd just get into the family business. I'm happy where I am. Thanks for the compliment though." She smiled, soft and thoughtful. "Something to think about."

" _Yeah_ ," Hardwon let out a full-body sigh and mulled his answer for a moment. Then he started.

"So those DNA test things? Managed to save up enough cash for one of those just before Rust got mouthy and sent it out. Figured at least knowing _where_ I came from would help, yanno? Even if it _was_ just a pipe dream that anyone would be alive to want me or anything, but got the results and then I was out and homeless and shit so, I dunno, I wanted to pursue that line."

"They straight up _kicked you out_?" Jaina seemed mad for him, which was... _nice_. He'd been mad _for_ himself for so long that having someone else be angry _on his behalf_ was a relief. "Didn't send you back into the system or anything?"

Hardwon shrugged, " _Look,_ I'm not the smartest guy, but even _I_ know when to stop pushing for some kind of acceptance in a place like that, with enemies like fucking _Wilhelm_. And, like I said before: I was seconds away from just trying for emancipation so I was just homeless for a bit. But I got that info from the DNA testing thing before I was so that was step two."

He took another long drag and tried to not think about how many pitying looks he got on the streets, how many handouts he had to take because he needed them, how many times he had to swallow revulsion and not speak up when people addressed him, and how Jaina had to be looking at him now. Instead he soldiered on, letting the pot drag the answer out honestly.

"Turns out my mom and dad were in the military and died in active duty. Elias and Lydia Stormborn. Ain't _that_ the shit?" He gave a weak, forced grin, and a short huffing laugh. Jaina said nothing but he knew. _He knew._ "But I had a godfather who was the one who tossed me in the system to begin with and I tracked him down around here and kinda demanded answers." He took another drag and exhaled. Thing's getting short. Maybe he can cut his answer off and get one more out of Jaina. Who knows.

"Red and Gunther are good guys but, _way back when_ , being like them got you dishonorably discharged and you didn't get to keep your shit, so they lied and wound up out coz they got injured. Then they realized they couldn't take care of a kid while living off pension and disability in a trailer park as an unmarried couple so they just decided to let me go live life where I _might_ have a better chance." A dry laugh. He can feel her gaze. He _hates_ it. "But they managed to fucking raise enough hell that I got a home that wanted me and a guy who adopted me and, _damn_ , if I'm not at least grateful they're _trying_. And that's _that_." He passed off to her and nodded.

She took it without a word. Her face was pinched in thought.

"How're _you_?" There was a moment where Jaina looked confused. _Startled_ , even, but it slips into a simple lazy frown and she nodded, acknowledging his question.

" _Okay_. Better than before, but that's how it usually is. It didn't hurt that Gemma used her weight with dad and the folks around town to get them off my ass about the whole—" she gestured up and down her body, indicating everything, "—but it's still not _easy_. And it was _hard_ , yanno, watching you and your whole fucking deal be... _worse_?"

"I got meds. Fucking shit got fixed the fuck up." He grinned at her, swallowing the lump in his throat, and gestured to his everything. "Finally feel _better_ about that myself."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the fucking _point_." She bit down on her words, refused to make eye contact. Her shoulders were at her ears. _**Big.** Fucking. **Mood.**_

"I _know_. It just—"

" _I **know.**_ " They took a minute of silence while Jaina finished the joint, stubbing the butt beneath her boot and spitting on it for good measure. " _Fuck_. We're a hot, fucking mess, _aren't we_?"

He laughed in agreement.

They enjoyed each other's company for a little bit longer. Silent but not alone.

It was broken by a loud, breathy giggle and Moonshine staggering into view, Gemma on her arm. Both of them were flushed and laughing. Moonshine caught Hardwon's eye as he pressed himself against the wall, trying to stay out of Gemma's line of sight. He wasn't high enough to deal with that. With _her_.

Thankfully, Gemma whispered something into Moonshine's ear before she could call to him and she laughed, combing her fingers through Gemma's beard. Then they dipped into the women's room, the door swinging shut and locking behind them.

Hardwon let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. When his vision stopped swimming from oxygen deprivation, he could see Jaina's gaze track from the bathroom door to Hardwon and back again.

"Friend of yours?"

"One of a few, _yeah_." His voice was dry, throat threatening to close off. _Fuck_. He thought he would be better than that but...he _had_ fled the stadium for a reason. And that reason was now having a wild go with Moonshine in the bathroom. " _Yeah_. Moonshine's...probably my _best_ friend. Save for Bev, who doesn't count as much coz he's a kid."

"He the reason you're at a middle school rich kid convention?" He rolled his eyes and she chuckled. " _Fuck_. Better than my excuse. Fucking Cyril goes to Frostwind and Gerrard knew some guy out here so he was gonna fucking hook up, took Gemma, who took _me_. I don't even _like_ the little shit."

"Oh _god_ , Cyril is the one that fucking, _uh_ , got caught on an animal abuse thing, right?" Even in Irondeep, the Coldain name was a big one, and Wilhelm liked lording over anyone who threatened his position. Even if his position was leagues below someone like Coldain. That newspaper article was in a prize spot that he and Gemma liked to hide to drink and make out, so he'd seen it far too many times.

Jaina grimaced. " _Yeah_. Fucker apparently kicked one of the police dogs and got his ass impounded for a bit, then Coldain paid his bail and had the whole thing handwaved off. But the worst part about this blonde little fuck _isn_ 't that he kicks dogs for fun or fucking is spoiled to hell and back, but that he wears those hentai jackets in public."

_Oh._

_Oh **god.**_

"Fuck _that_ noise." Jaina nodded in agreement and, against all odds, Hardwon realized that the tension and panic in his chest had abated. She'd gotten him to stop thinking about it. "Hey, _uh_ , **_thanks_**."

She slugged him in the shoulder and laughed when he rubbed his arm, wincing in pain, "No prob, Surefoot." A beat before she continued, jerking her thumb at the stands behind them. "Wanna head back? I don't want to be the first person to see them when they're done, do you?"

"Wouldn't be the _first_ time I've seen Moonshine in that state of disarray but yeah. Let's fucking _go_."

Walking back to the stadium was cold as hell, the wind biting around the building corners and right into the thin layer of Hardwon's borrowed jacket. He shivered but it was bracing. Reminded him he was alive. Was _wanted_.

" _So_ ," Hardwon asked, unsure of how to approach things now, "Who're you with, if Gemma is using Gerrard as a smokescreen?"

"Fucking no one. I mean," she side-eyed Hardwon and winked—or he was _kinda_ sure she did, hard to tell at the angle he was at—"the cop whose dog Cyril kicked is _kinda_ hot. Toma?"

"Never heard her name before but you have good taste." Hardwon shrugged. "Figure she's a looker. Blonde like the Coldains?"

Jaina shrugged, "Fuck if _I_ know but she dyes it this like, platinum silver color and has it done in plaits and—?" She gestured with her hands, trying to futilely explain what was up. Hardwon nodded sagely.

"Useless gay," he noted. She deadarmed him again but it was worth it.

"And _you_?"

" _Ehh_. A couple flings here and there but...I'm trying to do me first, _right_?" He hoped she got the subtext. She did, not pushing any farther. It was comforting, the silence that followed. It was weird to miss silence.

They didn't say much more past that, but it didn't matter. They were just two ships, passing in the harbor, parting ways when they entered the stadium proper.

Two ships who exchanged phone numbers for _totally_ not gossip related reasons. Nope. Just for other reasons. _Mmhmm_.


End file.
